My ex and I were emailing, I cut it off - guys perspective needed!?

Honestly, you're the one being immature. You shouldn't have been e-mailing him to begin with, which you know, but when you decided to break it off, you should have known you were breaking it off for good. Your later "Mr. Turtle.." e-mail was just childish. If you need the list, call his office and set up a meeting, assuming it's a professional thing. If it's not, just forget about the list, it's not worth it. Finally, he's not the one who tossed you away, you tossed him away. You hurt him, then got mad at him for nothing. If I were him, honestly, I wouldn't talk to you either. I am a woman, though; maybe from a guy's perspective being dumped then harassed is attractive. Sorry if this comes off as harsh, I just really think you aren't thinking about this the right way.